Are You Ready For A Colema?

There is no one-word to describe my colema experience. But if I had to try, I would say it is THE most embarrassing and awkward experience of my life.

On the degree and intensity of embarrassment, I would say this makes going for a Brazilian wax like going for afternoon tea with your girlfriend. I had read up on and research extensively before doing it. And even then, I shocked myself. It is one of those experiences in life that cannot be fully understood and appreciated, until you have done it yourself.

If you can mentally get pass having a tube stuck up your bum, while someone is in the room seated next to you massaging your stomach while you do #2, then – colema is for you. Key is to disengage your mind from the overall awkwardness (which is a major challenge given the circumstances), and focus on your body as it undergoes the elimination process.

What is colema?
Colema is one technique in colon hydrotherapy, an extension of enema, used for colon cleansing and detoxification. Introduced through the rectum by a rubber tube, water (containing enzymes and herbs – in my case, coffee powder)  is pumped into the colon. About 15 litres. I am not a coffee drinker, but that is irrelevant for this procedure.

Coffee is used to neutralize the liver, and washes out toxins in the body by opening the bile ducts. This is where a lot of bad bacteria and parasites (from eating raw fish and meat) hibernate. Over a long period, this accumulation of gastric and biological waste can lead to many health illnesses such as flatulence, irregular bowel movements and chronic fatigue. In extreme cases, it can lead to colon cancer.

As water begins to fill the colon, you have to hold it in until you cannot hold it anymore before expelling out – in the form of having a dump/crap/shit.

The essentials of a colema setup

*Reader be warned: Beyond this point, this blog post contains explicit details from my personal experience. It may not be suitable for the faint-hearted. If so, do not proceed.*

My colema experience at The Farm at San Benito
I walked into my assigned private room with what looked like a toilet bowl with a bed board attached. My colema therapist, Chloe, instructed me to lay on the board, with my butt right up against the bowl and my legs bend and apart. Much like the position of giving birth. Expect instead of looking down at your doctor delivering your baby, your bum is now facing a toilet bowl.

Next, a rubber tube, linked to a plastic 5-gallon water container filled with water and coffee powder, is painlessly inserted into the rectum. Then, with a small switch, water begins pouring into and filling the colon with the merciless help of gravity. Chloe positioned her chair next to me, and had begun to massage my abdomen in deep circular strokes targeting the liver. This helps to loosen the feces for easier release.

It only took me a few seconds before I started to experience sharp pains in my abdomen area. Chloe assured me that this is a normal. Again, a sensation very similar to childbearing. As soon as I could not hold it any longer, I had to let go.

And this is where the embarrassment and awkwardness really kicks in to full gear!

For the rest of the time, it became a consistent flow of waste elimination, while being massaged by the therapist. You can feel as chunks of black and dark brown waste comes out. You can hear it when it splashes into the bowl. And at times, you can smell it – the faint aroma of coffee. Looking the therapist in the eye while all this is going on, is beyond embarrassing. I have no words to describe.

To help me relax, Chloe started talking to me, and assuring me that I was doing great. She told me she as a midwife, and started doing colon hydrotherapy 7 years ago. And she loves what she does! Seriously?!

She had a quality about her that was extremely caring, gentle, patient and assuring. All the traits compulsory for this kind of treatment, I would say. She was a gem ♥

Thirty minutes later, we were done. I got the chance to look into the bowl. What a shocker! It is unbelievable the amount – and quality – of waste we carry in our bodies.

After the treatment, I was given a concoction of enzymes, probiotics and vitamins to replenish and rebalance the body’s biochemical make-up. I definitely felt looser, lighter and more rejuvenated.

With Chloe, my most-awesome colema therapist at The Farm at San Benito.

The Only Setback
I fell sick two days later with symptoms of a cold – running nose, stuffy headache and dry throat. And because I rarely fall sick, I read up more about colema. I found out that there is the potential of developing a cold or flu-like symptoms after undergoing the treatment. This is due to the fact that while releasing bad bacteria from our gut to rectum, some of it may be re-introduced back into our system.

Final Verdict
If I can find a good and spotlessly clean colon hydrotherapy spa clinic that provides the level of care and service I received at The Farm, I will definitely do it again.

Having shared my experience with a few people, I realize that post-colema treatment can affect different people in different ways. Some people do not feel any difference after the treatment, some feel totally rejuvenated, and some go home sleepy with a headache.

Whether colema is for you or not, the fact is – the next time someone tells you that you are full of shit, he or she is probably right! ♥

Click here to read about my stay at The Farm at San Benito. The award-winning holistic wellness resort in Asia, that is also one of best preventive healing sanctuaries in the world.

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